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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26102224">You're my forever solitude</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfghjklWHAAAT/pseuds/asdfghjklWHAAAT'>asdfghjklWHAAAT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Night Stands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:27:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26102224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfghjklWHAAAT/pseuds/asdfghjklWHAAAT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Timmy has a huge crush on Armie but is being a huge asshole about it</p><p>And the one where Armie has a hidden crush on Timmy and is not being subtle about it</p><p>One is afraid of commitment, one is very ready for it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, loves! So, I kind of wrote something and here is the final product. While writing the first part of it, I have such high hopes and I am so proud about it but after a while, I'm cringing internally on how I ended it. But I don't want to waste it so I'm still gonna post this here ehe-he. Peace out, let's all cringe together.</p><p>I hope you are all safe with your loved ones. Make sure to wear a mask outside!</p><p>All grammar mistakes are mine. Bear with me, English is only my second language.</p><p>Enjoy reading! Comments are highly appreciated. Will reply to all of them &lt;3</p><p>Peace and love, motherfuckers <br/>Peace and love 🥂</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p><em>“Ugh fine. You can take my coffee but you're buying me lunch later.”</em> Saoirse lightly shoves her coffee in front of Timmy who is whining about his morning.</p><p><em>“Next time you had a one night stand, make sure you're responsible enough to get yourself your own coffee.”</em> She continues to lecture her friend.</p><p>
  <em>“Can you shush? And it's not like I do one night stands every freaking night, Sersh. This is different. My head really hurts.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Which head?”</em> Flo asks, chuckling.</p><p><em>“Oh, God. I hate you both.”</em> Timmy answers while taking a sip of Saoirse's coffee. <em>“This is heaven-sent. Thank you, Sersh. I hate that I love you.”</em> He dramatically adds.</p><p><em>“So, my dear friend, how was last night? Did you get it good? Should I give my homeboy Armie a high five or should I kick his ass? Come on, tell me!!!”</em> Saoirse excitedly asks. Florence's beside her anticipating an answer as well.</p><p><em>“Can we not talk about him or about last night, please? My head really hurts, it's killing me.”</em> Timmy tries to act really hurt by putting his right hand on his head, ducking.</p><p><em>“Oh, please. If you don't tell me deets, I'm just gonna go ask Armie myself later since we'll be having dinner at his parents. Or should I say, your dream in-laws?”</em> Saoirse continues to tease.</p><p>Armie and Saoirse's families have been friends even before they were born. There was even a time back in high school when both their parents tried to set them up for marriage, which both of them fully disagree on. That ‘incident’ even made Armie finally tell his parents that he's gay, he made sure that his parents will come to terms with that fact about him. They did, and they fully accept him but they still bring up from time to time how Saoirse would be a perfect daughter-in-law. For Saoirse though, her relationship with Armie is special. Friends for life, one can say. But their relationship is more like a sister and a brother. It goes around and ends there.</p><p><em>“You wouldn't dare do that in front of his parents. And last night was okay. He's okay.”</em> Timmy answers vaguely. He really doesn't want to go into details.</p><p>Saoirse and Florence roll their eyes in unison. It's not a coincidence. They've been doing this eye-rolling thing for a while now just to pissed their friend off from time to time. It does its work though because Timmy is looking at them like he's gonna kill either of them any moment now.</p><p>Saoirse puts her arms up in surrender. <em>“So, how was the walk of shame go then?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“You aren't letting this go, no?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Uh, no? Last night was a different kind of Timmy. You got your eyes on your prize.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Isn't his eyes always on Armie, though?”</em> Florence butts in.</p><p><em>“Ugh. You two are unbelievable. I'm going to class.”</em> He answers as he readies his bag to leave.</p><p>Timmy is about to grab Saoirse's coffee when Greta joins their table.</p><p><em>“Hey, you leaving for your class already?”</em> She asks Timmy as she nods into Saoirse and Flo's direction.</p><p><em>“I, I just, uh— God, these two are unbelievable so I'm leaving, yes.”</em> He points at Flo and Sersh, both grinning at him.</p><p>
  <em>“What did they do this time?”</em>
</p><p><em>“He had sex with Armie!”</em> Florence answers.</p><p><em>“That explained it. You see T, Armie's in high spirit this morning at our debate class. Kinda funny though how he keeps challenging everyone's opinion earlier. Man's really high on sex.”</em> Greta ends with her famous laugh.</p><p><em>“Ugh, this is getting out of hand.”</em> He groans and facepalms. Last night was supposed to be fun and memorable but he'd rather forget it now. <em>“I gotta go.”</em></p><p>He runs as fast as he can away from his friends so he can get away from going into details with what happened last night. His head still hurts from the lack of sleep and he is really tired. He will deal with them later. Or not.</p><p>His next class will start in ten minutes if their professor will be on time. He takes his eyeglasses off and places it on his desk with his phone. He picks up his phone to kill time. Upon scrolling for about a minute or so he gives up. He is not made to be a punctual student. He likes going to class on the dot. He likes a great entrance. He huffs at himself thinking about it. He is getting pathetic at life if his number one problem with life is being early in class.</p><p>He tries to lose himself with his thoughts to kill the remaining time instead. Trying to freeze the memories of last night on his brain. He only stops when their professor finally speaks, saying good morning to the whole class.</p><p>
  <em>“Before we continue with what we left off from last meeting's discussion, please pass all your papers upfront. I'm expecting only the best from your papers since I gave you all a week-long extension to fully delve into your arguments. Now, pass it along.”</em>
</p><p><em>“What???”</em> Timmy asks silently. More to himself. He tries to get himself together and thinks fast about what paper it is when it finally dawned on him about Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. He signed up for this contemporary literature class so giddy about it and now he feels like all his blood has been drained out of him.</p><p>He is supposed to print it out from his flash drive before going home last night but he opted to go to the party instead and his life ends there.</p><p><em>“Uh, can we print it out outside for a second?”</em> Thank goodness for whoever that voice belongs to. His worries fade immediately— he checks for his laptop, nothing. He must've left it at his apartment earlier. Today, of all days, is that day he decided to not bring it. He utters the lowest of “fuck my life” to himself.</p><p>
  <em>“That's a good one but no. I've been more than kind enough to extend the deadline since I know you're all swamped with your other classes' workloads. But you have to know your deadlines. This is a major project, this will determine 15% of your final grades as we agreed upon at the start of this semester.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Prof Schmitt, I'm so sorry but I emailed my paper to you earlier today because I thought—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Again, no. Okay, class? What is this? Have I been vague about my instructions about this paper? No, eh? So what are these excuses from Ms Riley and Mr Seil about printing it out just now and sending it to my email? This is the last time I'll say this, pass all your papers now.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy closes his eyes like he is about to pray for his dear life. Everyone around him is either shuffling on their bags to get their papers or murmuring. He gives himself some pep talk by saying at least he is not the only one who will not pass the paper. Or pass this class. Or pass this semester. Damn, that's 15% of his grade. Damn, Armie. Damn last night.</p><p><em>“Excuse me, Professor.”</em> There's a single knock that gets all of the attention away from their professor. If it isn't the devil who Timmy is seeing right now. Armie.</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, how can I help you?”</em>
</p><p><em>“I'm just wondering if I can excuse Timothée for a minute?”</em> Timmy knows Armie make sure he is pronouncing his name perfectly. He hates how hot that makes him. But Armie just smiles sweetly at Prof Schmitt. Timmy knows no one can say no to that smile.</p><p><em>“Of course. Chalamet, go.”</em> She instructs as if Timmy doesn't witness what just happened.</p><p>He takes his time. A lot of thoughts going through his mind right now. What the hell is he doing here? Why does he know he has this class right now? Whys?</p><p><em>“What are you doing here? Who told you I have this class today?”</em> He whispers sharply at Armie even though no one is really walking by at them in the hallway.</p><p><em>“Woah there. Not even a good morning after last night?”</em> Armie smirks. Armie looks at Timmy. Timmy would like to ruin that by kissing him well then he will climb him then and there and cuddle him. Yeah, Armie's a dream, fuck him.</p><p><em>“I don't know if you notice but I'm in the middle of class right now. I don't have the time to play games with you, Armie.” </em>He counters.</p><p>
  <em>“When are you free to play games with me then? Tonight at my place again?”</em>
</p><p><em>“You wish.”</em> He rolls his eyes at Armie.</p><p><em>“Come on, man. I'm serious here. And my offer from last night still stands.”</em> Armie is looking at him intently.</p><p>
  <em>“I really don't have time for your fun and games, Armie. What do you need?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Look, I'm not here to fight or anything. Just want to give this to you.”</em> Armie is handing him his keys and flash drive back. Oh, so he left it at Armie's place Damnit, Chamalet. And on top of that, a printed copy of his paper. He cannot believe this guy.</p><p>
  <em>“Why, what—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, I'm creepy. But look, you left this morning like I'm some kind of a dirty one night stand, well maybe that's a one night stand for you. I woke up this morning thinking about cuddles and make outs and answers but all I woke up into is your shirt and your keys with the flash drive on it. I have to look, you know? So that's when I saw your file UnbearablePRINTTHIS102519 so I print it out. Just in the hopes that you need it.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I have an early class so I have to leave.”</em> He answers. He offers his hand to get his keys with a flash drive on it and the printed copy of his work from Armie.</p><p>
  <em>“You're wearing my shirt. Did Saoirse notice that?”</em>
</p><p><em>“No.”</em> He lies, Saoirse notices it immediately earlier this morning. He had to call her because he lost the key from his apartment and she has the spare key. Now he knows he just left it at Armie's apartment.</p><p>
  <em>“So, you decided to casually go to your classes today with my shirt on? That's pretty hot. You parading me, I mean.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You think highly of yourself, Armie. Do you know that? Are you gonna give me those in exchange for this shirt? Is this your favorite that you can't even share? I'll give it back, don't worry.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why would I want that? I mean if you want to wear my clothes every day just tell me. I'd love to share anything with you. Anything for you.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy scoffs. This man is ridiculous. <em>“Look, I really need to go back or else I'll be really damned for this class. I also need those back and the printed copy of my paper. Please.”</em></p><p><em>“I also need an answer,”</em> Armie answers back.</p><p>
  <em>“Which I already gave you last night.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Timmy, that is not an answer.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Well, it's an answer to me.”</em> Timmy cocks his eyebrows.</p><p><em>“Second round of hot sex is not an answer.”</em> Armie points every single word clearly.</p><p><em>“Mr Chalamet, are you still going back here or you just gonna have nice chitchat there?”</em> They are interrupted by Prof Schmitt and some intimidating eyes from other students.</p><p><em>“I gotta go.”</em> He grabs his keys, flash drive, and the printed copy of his paper from Armie's hand then sprints back to the room. Leaving him there. He can talk to him later today. Or next month. Or next semester. Heck, maybe he'd rather not talk to Armie at all instead.</p><p><em>“We still need to talk,”</em> Armie adds.</p><p>
  <em>“Whatever.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>When Timmy goes back to the room, he can fully feel every eye on him. It's awkward as hell. He immediately goes towards the podium where his professor is currently at to hand her his paper.</p><p><em>“Well, it's very nice of your boyfriend to bring this to you. That's pretty sweet.”</em> Prof Schmitt remarks.</p><p>
  <em>“Uh, he's not my boyfriend, ma'am.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, he's not? Too bad, Hammer is a good kid. He had a class with me last semester and he is pretty intelligent, too.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He's a friend.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Friends can be boyfriends, too, you know.”</em> The whole class roars in agreement with their professor. Instead of answering back, he just makes his way back to his seat.</p><p>
  <em>“Prof Schmitt is kind of right though. You clearly are Armie's type.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Timmy stops on his track upon hearing it. “Uh, excuse me? What did you just say?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You're his type.”</em>
</p><p><em>“That's very cool of you, Nick. Just goes to show that you are a loyal friend to him. But nice try.”</em> Timmy taps Nick's shoulder and proceeds to his chair.</p><p>Nick laughs silently, not wanting to get any attention from the class. He is sitting two chairs away from Timmy. <em>“Uh-huh. Maybe that's true. I'm a good friend but being a good friend means also knowing what your friend wants. And it's you.”</em></p><p><em>“HA-HA.”</em> Timmy mocks. Nick laughs again. <em>“Well, be a good friend then again and please tell him he can't always get what he wants.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Sure thing. Only if you tell me straight in the eye that he is not your type at all. Or you are not crushing or thirsting over him for a year now.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy gasps. <em>“You're ridiculous. You've been watching too much teen rom-com, Nick. It's bad.”</em></p><p><em>“Are you two gonna keep doing this until the end of the lecture because I really need to catch up for this class, guys. Timmy, we can change seats if you want so you can talk to Nick easily.”</em> Dev, a senior, offers.</p><p>
  <em>“Thanks, Dev but no. We're done talking, I'm sorry. Just one last thing, Nick! I'm not thirsting over your friend. Period.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I'm quoting you, dear sir. I've watched too many rom-com for me to look at it the wrong way. But sure, suit yourself.”</em> Nick ends their discussion at that.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Kindly pls comment down your thoughts. I love reading ur feedback &lt;3</p><p>You can also shout on me on Tumblr @asdfghjklwhaaat <br/>Let's talk all things CHARMIE and life there xo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>The feeling of finally diving to his bed after a long day is a perfection. Timmy can lie at his bed forever. He is so tired he just wants to crawl into his sheets and sleep until the weekend is over. But he hasn't showered yet and he's been with Armie's shirt since this morning. The fact that Armie wore it yesterday and he wore it the whole day today irks him. He really needs to go shower.</p><p>He is giving himself at least five more minutes before he heads to his bathroom when his phone signals a notification. He quickly checks it. It is a text message from Saoirse.</p><p><span class="u">SERSH:</span> <em>currently at dinner with the hammers aka ur in-laws</em><br/>
<em>: any weekend plans while armie and i are away, pony?</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: 🙄👎</p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>come on, now. </em><br/>
<em>: sorry</em><br/>
<em>: i'm not gonna ask any more deets</em><br/>
<em>: promise</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>fucking finally</em><br/>
<em>: THANK YOU</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>enjoy ur weekend, pony</em><br/>
<em>: i'll take care of armie for you. will make sure no one standing ur way 😉</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>thought you'd stop with the teasing?</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: uh no? <br/>
: <em>said i'd stop from asking for details, not with the teasing</em><br/>
<em>: duh</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>im going to shower now and i will sleep for the whole weekend</em><br/>
<em>: pls enjoy your weekend with ur fam, sersh &lt;3</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>luv u, too tim</em><br/>
<em>: &lt;3</em></p><p>He grabs his charger on the bedside table and charges his phone. After a while, he finally musters the strength to get up and shower. He throws Armie's shirt on the laundry basket along with his other clothes. Not giving a second glance. He takes his time at the shower. Washing away all the thoughts that are bugging him right now. After his shower, he feels refreshed and less tired. Before he heads back to his bed, he fixes himself a quick bowl of cereal and tea. This is how he's gonna spend his Friday night.</p><p>While he eats his cereal, he watches some random episodes of Queer Eye on his laptop. He binge-watch all of the episodes with Flo before and now they are stuck waiting for the sixth season. For now, they have to settle by watching random episodes to get their quick fix of some Jonathan Van Ness love. They are both in love with JVN. They love the fab five but JVN is JVN. Saoirse doesn't understand their constant JVN talks so she binge-watch the show in a week so she can catch up with them. Although she agrees JVN is an angel, she likes Tan and Bobby best. Among the three of them, the only fab five they can relentlessly talk for hours is Antoni. Well, it's more of a thirst talk, to be honest. Come on, it's Antoni Porowski.</p><p>He chuckles at his thought. This is fun. Friday night alone with Queer Eye is fun. He can deal with this. He finishes his cereal and debates whether he will wash the dishes tonight or not. He hits pause for the meantime to wash his dishes and brush his teeth. He can't be lazy now.</p><p>All the while, his phone at his bedside table is currently popping up notifications. He can hear the buzzing sounds but chooses to ignore it as he finishes brushing his teeth. He has notifications on from his favorite Twitter accounts so that might come from those accounts.</p><p>Once he is all done. He returns at his bed and hits play again on the episode he is watching. Laughing from time to time because of the Fab 5.</p><p>After the episode ended, he shuts his laptop off and readies himself for bed. He is about to unplug his charger from the outlet when he notices multiple notifications on his phone from Instagram and a text message from an unknown number. He ignores the text message and swipes for the notifications from IG.</p><p>The notifications are from Saoirse and Greta. Saoirse tags him in a post while Greta tags him in her story. He quickly opens Greta's story to look for the tag. Why are they even tagging him out of nowhere?</p><p>It's the single story on Greta's account so he immediately sees what it's about. It is a picture of Saoirse, Greta, and Armie on what seems like the Hammer's pool. On their background is a beautiful sunset which color bounces on the water in the pool. It's a nice picture. The three of them beaming at the camera but what catches his eyes the most is Armie. Of course, it will always be Armie.</p><p>Greta puts a tag of Saoirse's handle on Sersh's part of the picture and then she puts Timmy's handle on Armie's side. The fuck is Greta doing? It is posted 28mins ago. He quickly types a response,</p><p><span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>: <em>u tagged the wrong person???</em><br/>
<em>: pretty sure u're aware it's armie u're with rn, right???</em><br/>
<em>: greta!!!!!!!!</em><br/>
<em>: his @ is @_ArmieDH which im pretty sure he copies from my handle bc that guy has 0 originality at all</em><br/>
<em>: i can see u're active??? hello???</em><br/>
<em>: i can see you just SEEN my msgs???</em></p><p><span class="u">@gerwig.greta</span>: <em>oops</em><br/>
<em>: wrong tag? is it tho?</em><br/>
<em>: g2g</em><br/>
<em>: happy weekend &lt;3</em></p><p>He sighs dramatically. He goes to Saoirse's tag this time. He pretty much has an idea already about the post he's been tagged but he still wanted to see it himself. And boy, he is not wrong. Only this time, the photo is not just Sersh, Greta, and Armie. On the picture are Saoirse's parents and Armie's parents and brother.</p><p>He clicks on the picture to check the tag. Saoirse puts a tag of Greta's handle on herself, then on Armie's brother, she tags of what Timmy can guess is his girlfriend, and of course, she tags Timmy on Armie's part in the picture.</p><p>He debates himself if he will message Saoirse first or comment on the post. Commenting on the post clearly wins because he is currently typing a comment.</p><p>
  <span class="u">@_TimotheeHC: </span>
  <em>wrong tag, sersh 🙃</em>
</p><p>Not even a minute, he receives a notification that someone replied on his comment.</p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: <em>is it tho?</em></p><p>That reply is really getting into his nerves now. He is supposed to go back on his DMs to send Saoirse a warning message when he accidentally clicks on Armie's profile picture instead.</p><p>When he read Armie's reply on his comment earlier, the man has no story up on his profile yet so when he ‘accidentally’ click on Armie's profile it opens the story.</p><p>It is a selfie. Armie with a glass of wine. Timmy can only see half of Armie's face on the picture. It's a shame though because he likes looking at Armie's face. He can watch him for life and he won't ever get bored. He starts to type but even before he finished his response he receives a DM already from the devil itself. He deletes what he already typed and clicks on the message instead.</p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>:<em> u aren't responding on my texts</em><br/>
<em>: glad u finally go online here</em></p><p><span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>:<em> i don't reply on stranger's text messages</em></p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: ???<br/>
<em>: first, i'm not a stranger?</em><br/>
<em>: u don't have my number saved? that kinda hurts ngl</em></p><p><span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>: <em>r u important for me to save it in the first place???</em><br/>
<em>: just stfu</em></p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: <em>t, if i only know things would be complicated after last night i shouldn't have agreed to sleep with you at all</em><br/>
<em>: i know we aren't friends, to begin with, but you aren't like this with me before</em></p><p><span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>: <em>i really want to go to sleep now, armie</em><br/>
<em>: i'm so tired and done with all of these</em><br/>
<em>: can we just agree to never talk about it again?</em></p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: <em>that's it? not even after what happened?</em></p><p><span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>: <em>look, we did it. it's no big deal. people have sex all the time. you sure do it on a regular basis so it's nbd</em></p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: <em>it is a big deal!</em></p><p>
  <span class="u">@_TimotheeHC</span>
  <em>: just because i had a crush on you since freshmen year doesn't mean it's a big deal to me</em><br/>
<em>: it's just sex</em><br/>
<em>: finally tasted/tested what the fuss is about you and i'm done </em><br/>
<em>: great sex, if u're aiming for that</em><br/>
<em>: best i ever had, i'm giving u that</em><br/>
<em>: happy now?</em>
</p><p><span class="u">@_ArmieDH</span>: <em>no but u're done so i'm done then too</em><br/>
<em>: no big deal, right</em><br/>
<em>: no big deal</em></p><p>Armie goes offline after sending the last message. Timmy does not dare type a reply anymore because he can't trust himself enough to keep up with this. He doesn't really want to be this cold after last night. He just feels like it's the right thing to do to protect himself. And it's the correct decision. A wise decision he should be proud of. But he just feels sad and angry at himself for treating Armie that way. Armie has been nothing but gentle with him. Even before when they are just acquaintances. Armie constantly gives him a smile, a wave, a recognition. He will always try to make conversation with him every time. Maybe that's why his little crush grows over time. He really likes Armie but he can't say their relationship can even be called friendship. They are acquaintances who flirt from time to time. They are both single so it's a safe ground for them both. But they don't act on it or further their actions until last night. Until last night.</p><p>He tosses his phone on the right side of the bed in frustration. All the calm from the Queer Eye episode is totally forgotten now.</p><p>He tosses and turns. He tries to push himself to sleep but to no avail, his mind wants to play tricks at him. He picks up his phone to check for the time. 11.33 on a Friday.</p><p>He opens his messaging app. And there it is. On top of the messages is Armie's message. The unknown number from earlier. He taps it open. The message is a string of messages so he adjusts himself first before he reads what the message is about.</p><p><span class="u">215-xxx-xxxx</span>: <em>Hey, Tim. I tried waiting for your class to finished earlier but I think Prof Schmitt asked an extension? I had to go to my class so I left.</em></p><p>
  <em>: I'm heading home for the weekend with Saoirse and Greta right now. Thirdfuckingwheeling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>: But I really rather spend this weekend with you. We have a lot to talk about and I'm looking forward to seeing you again</em>
</p><p>
  <em>: This is creepy, I know but I really miss you and hope we can talk on Monday? About us?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>: Enjoy your weekend, Timmy</em>
</p><p>
  <em>: I miss you</em>
</p><p>He closes his eyes. No, he is not trying to sleep. He knows sleep won't come now even with all the tiredness. He is trying to compose himself. He won't cry over this. He did this to himself so he better not cry.</p><p>He tries really hard but he can't control his tears now. It keeps on going and going and he just wants it to stop. This is so stupid but he is hurt. He likes the guy, fuck, he might even love him after all the years of watching and admiring him. It's so messed up.</p><p>Once his crying turns into soft sobs, he tries to remember last night. He knows he doesn't have the current and the future but he will always have last night. Last night was theirs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Kindly pls comment down your thoughts. I love reading ur feedback &lt;3</p><p>You can also shout on me on Tumblr @asdfghjklwhaaat<br/>Let's talk all things CHARMIE and life there xo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>LAST NIGHT</strong>
</p><p>Timmy knows he needs to start studying for the midterms but he just can't say no to dinner with his friends. After all, a good company is always worth it.</p><p>They always do this kind of dinner every other Friday night. Saoirse will cook for them at her apartment and they will watch Netflix afterwards. But this week, Saoirse has to go home for the weekend for some family stuff so they decided to still have dinner by Thursday. So here he is now, tummy ready for some good Saoirse's own kind of lasagna that he requested last Monday.</p><p><em>“Heeeey, Timmy!”</em> It is Florence who opens the door for him. They go for a quick hug.</p><p><em>“Food ready?”</em> He asks her.</p><p><em>“Not yet. How are you?”</em> Flo asks while walking back to the couch. Nick and Greta are there, having some kind of serious conversation. Timmy nods at their direction.</p><p>
  <em>“So stress. Midterms coming up but I haven't started any studying at all. I'm all swamped with my workload this semester with all my major subjects. Ugh. I might take into consideration leaving the university paper.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Who's leaving the Herald?”</em> Saoirse emerges from her kitchen. Apron on, hair tied in a bun.</p><p><em>“Timmy. But I might too next year.”</em> Greta answers then shrug.</p><p><em>“Hey.”</em> Timmy goes at her for a hug. <em>“Is the food ready?”</em></p><p><em>“Wow, hungry much?”</em> Saoirse surveys him.</p><p><em>“Yes and stress much. Only your lasagna can fix it.”</em> Saoirse laughs at him.</p><p>
  <em>“Almost done. Want to help me set up the table?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Sure. Let me just put my bag down.”</em> Timmy quickly throws his bag at the couch.</p><p><em>“Start with the plates, I just have to check an email at my room for a sec.”</em> Saoirse gives him a quick hug again and he takes that as his cue to go to the kitchen to set the table up.</p><p>He's humming to Little Mix's Joan of Arc when he enters the kitchen, making small headbang from time to time.</p><p>
  <em>“That's a cool move.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Oh, God. What are you doing in here?”</em> Timmy catches his chest.</p><p>It's Armie. Just like Saoirse, he's also in an apron. Too small for his built but it looks cute on him. You can give anything to this man and he will still look good. That's how unfair life is.</p><p><em>“Uh? Cooking as you can see? Do I look good?”</em> Armie smiles and then akimbo.</p><p><em>“Dude, you really need to fish for compliments?”</em> Timmy bites his lower lip to stop himself from saying how perfect Armie looks.</p><p><em>“I only fish compliments from you though. You're like my fashion icon. So?”</em> Armie laughs lightly.</p><p><em>“Sersh's apron suits you.”</em> Timmy smiles.</p><p>
  <em>“I know. Cute, right?”</em>
</p><p><em>“And you're hot,”</em> Timmy says out of nowhere. Damn his thoughts sometimes. </p><p><em>“Oh, yeah? Thank you. You're pretty hot, too.”</em> Armie <span class="u">s</span>mirks.</p><p><em>“Uh, I— I have— I have to set the table. Uh, I'm— I'm getting the charger. Uhm, no, the uh, the plates, I mean.”</em> Timmy</p><p>Armie laughs. <em>“Okay.”</em> He replies shortly.</p><p>Timmy looks everywhere in the kitchen but Armie's direction. He's getting red from embarrassment. He is here to get the plates. Plates, yes.</p><p><em>“You've been in here multiple times, right?”</em> Armie asks. Timmy can feel Armie is watching his every move. He is currently reaching Saoirse's tall cupboards, his weight being protected by the sink.</p><p>
  <em>“Huh, what?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nothing. I just said that you've been here multiple times already.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Yeah, yeah of course. Her apartment is the biggest among us so we spend plenty of our time here.”</em> He tries to explain.</p><p><em>“Then I don't get why you don't know where her plates are, Timothée,”</em> Armie whispers on his ears. Timmy stiffens. How come he didn't notice Armie coming his way?</p><p><em>“Uh I— we don't— I—”</em> Armie chuckles. He can feel his breath on his ears and neck.</p><p><em>“It's there.”</em> Armie points.</p><p>Timmy tries to calm himself. He slowly turns to go to the other side of the kitchen but Armie pins him once he fully turns his body from the sink.</p><p>
  <em>“Uh, excuse me? What are you doing?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Can we get dinner?”</em> Armie is pinning him right now and asking the most bizarre of questions.</p><p><em>“We're getting dinner. That's why we're here.”</em> He answers back.</p><p>
  <em>“No, silly. I mean, can we go out sometime for dinner? Or lunch? Or if you want, we can have brunch before our classes?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A date?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Yeah.”</em> Armie's eyes are to die for. It's melting Timmy's eyes. Maybe, even his heart.</p><p><em>“I don't do dates.”</em> He lowers his eyes on the floor.</p><p>Armie doesn't stop, puts his fingers on Timmy's chin and lifts it up. <em>“What do you do then? Let's do that instead.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Armie, I'm—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Right now, I can't think,”</em> Timmy speaks, eyes close. He will not be able to say this if he is looking at Armie's piercing eyes. <em>“I can't think clearly with your body on me like this. It's like my body is overpowering my brain and I just want to climb you. Oh, God. That came out wrong, sorry. What I mean is, I know you know I have a crush on you but it doesn't mean— ugh. This is embarrassing—”</em></p><p><em>“Hey, hey, look at me, Tim. I can take no for an answer, you know.”</em> Armie's smile is so genuine he wanna cry. This guy is pure.</p><p>
  <em>“It's not a no. Not that.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Then what is it?”</em> Armie is holding his elbows, looking at him intently. Waiting for a response.</p><p>
  <em>“Can we go to your apartment later after dinner?”</em>
</p><p>Armie shoots a questioning look at him. But before Armie gives a response, Saoirse enters the kitchen.</p><p><em>“Uh, what's happening?”</em> She curiously asks, seeing how close Timmy and Armie's bodies are right now.</p><p>Timmy stiffens while Armie just smiles proudly. <em>“Nothing.”</em> Then Armie goes to tap Timmy's shoulder as a goodbye, <em>“Later.”</em> And off he goes.</p><p><em>“What was that, Chalamet?”</em> Saoirse asks again once Armie is nowhere near them. Probably on the living area with their friends already.</p><p>
  <em>“Nothing. We're just talking.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is that a new thing I didn't know? Is that how people talk to each other now?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He's helping me get the plates.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sure. But you know, if you finally decided what you want to do with whatever this thing you have for him, then I'm all for it. He's a great guy. A brother I can fully trust my best friend to.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I'm not gonna marry him, Sersh, okay? So stop with this kind of talk. I know he's great but I don't do boyfriends.”</em>
</p><p>Saoirse rolls her eyes at him.</p><p><em>“I just don't get you sometimes. What's not to like? What's not to want? If I'm not with Greta, I'd do him.”</em> Saoirse jokes.</p><p><em>“Who says I won't do him? Maybe I'd do him later. Who knows.”</em> He shrugs then he leaves her there, hanging. Time for his lasagna.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A plate full of lasagna and a beer later, the stress Timmy is gone. He is now on his best flirt mode. He's been trying to get Armie's attention all night but it seems like Armie is either really into talking with the others tonight or just giving Timmy a hard time by blatantly ignoring him.</p><p>And now, Armie and Nick are leaving since Nick has to practice early in the morning and Armie's driving him back to his apartment. Timmy loses his chance tonight. Well.</p><p><em>“Armie, drive safely please. See you tomorrow.”</em> Saoirse reminds as she gives her friend a tight hug.</p><p>
  <em>“Tomorrow. Yep.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Bye, Nick.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Bye, guys. Saoirse, thank you again.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No prob with that.”</em>
</p><p>After Armie and Nick leave, they decided to watch some unsolved crime documentaries. Sharing some conversations in between.</p><p><em>“Guys, I'm head home.”</em> Timmy breaks the silence. <em>“Flo, do you need a ride home?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Uh, no. I'm good. I'll get an Uber. And I'm staying for a couple more minutes anyway.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Okay, text me please once you're home.”</em> He taps her shoulder and goes right into a hug.</p><p>
  <em>“Of course. You, too.”</em>
</p><p>He also hugs Greta and Saoirse who are comfortably cuddled with each other. <em>“Bye-bye.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Drive safely. You had a drink!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, mom. I'll text you.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Timmy shoots a quick, ‘I'm safe’ text message to both Saoirse and Flo after he reaches his destination. He immediately gets a response from Flo saying the same thing but Saoirse's response is different.</p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>wer u at???</em><br/>
<em>: r u gonna do anything stupid?</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>of course not</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>wer r u then bc i know for sure u aren't at ur place</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>i'm safe wer i'm at</em><br/>
<em>: don't worry</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>yeah, but at least tell me ur location or sumn</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>i'm at armie's</em></p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>???????????? y</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: 👉👈</p><p><span class="u">SERSH</span>: <em>oh god</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>i'm fine. don't worry, sersh</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Timmy's yawns. He's been waiting for almost thirty minutes now. He's getting tired and sleepy.</p><p>He is about to get up and head up to his car when Armie's car shows up on the driveway. He patiently waits as Armie parks his car carefully.</p><p><em>“Tim?”</em> Armie greets, making sure it really Timmy he's looking at.</p><p><em>“Yeah, hi.”</em> He gives Armie a shy wave.</p><p><em>“What are you doing here? It's late.”</em> Armie looks at his wristwatch to check for the time.</p><p><em>“What do you think I'm doing here?’</em> He whispers.</p><p><em>“Timmy.”</em> There's a hint of warning in Armie's reply.</p><p><em>“You asked me earlier what do I do. Now I'm telling you, this is what I do.”</em> Timmy puts his hands on his pockets. He thinks this will make him feel cool. He needs to feel cool.</p><p><em>“I know you don't. We might not be the best of friends but this isn't what you do.”</em> Armie searches for his keys on his pocket. Once he gets it, he quickly opens the door. He doesn't close it, giving the invitation for Tim to get inside as well.</p><p>
  <em>“It's clean here. Wow. Didn't expect it.”</em>
</p><p>Armie raises his brow because of Tim's comment. <em>“That's kind of judgmental of you, man. Well, to be fair, it didn't use to be this clean when Nick was still living here last semester. That man is a total slob. He doesn't clean up at all, good thing he's living with his teammates now.”</em> Armie explains. <em>“Do you want anything to drink? Or eat?”</em></p><p><em>“I'm good. But I'm hungry for something else right now.”</em> Timmy doesn't know if he is good at this ‘seducing and being sexy thing’ he is trying to do. He knows that it works with other men, he is just not sure if it will also work with Armie. Damn, he is being so brave right now he might not even face himself tomorrow because of embarrassment. It's really now or never. Armie's graduating next semester and he can't afford to lose him by being scared all the time.</p><p>
  <em>“I'm trying all my best here to be the reasonable one but you are making things very difficult for me, Tim.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why do you have to make things difficult then? This is just a matter of us going to bed now so we can make love. I'm in, and I know you're in. It's one plus one, Armie. You can do simple math.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Oh, is that so?”</em> Armie challenges.</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, that easy.”</em>
</p><p>Armie walks to Timmy slowly after he heard those answers. While doing so, he is slowly unbuttoning the buttons of the shirt. He has to make sure Timmy is not the only one who has the game tonight. Two should be playing this game.</p><p><em>“Let's not waste time then, let's get going,”</em> Armie whispers as he softly caresses Timmy's cheeks.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Armie carefully pulls out, making sure Timmy won't feel any discomfort at all. Upon doing so, he earns a long and lusty moan from the man underneath him.</p><p><em>“Oh, fuck. So good. So worth it.”</em> Timmy whispers as Armie kisses his neck.</p><p>He slowly ties the used condom afterwards, careful not to spill any more jizz on his sheets then throws it on the bin beside his study table.</p><p><em>“That's hot.”</em> Timmy comments.</p><p><em>“You've said that multiple times, are you trying to feed my ego?”</em> Armie smiles while he gets some wet wipes to clean Timmy up.</p><p>Slowly and precisely, he cleans Timmy's belly first where the younger man's come spurt after they came. He doesn't fully wipe all of it though because he swipes his thumb on the remaining then sucks on it afterwards.</p><p><em>“My God, Armie! You didn't. That's gross.”</em> Timmy's eyes are wide in shock on what Armie just did.</p><p><em>“Doesn't taste gross to me. I like your taste. I wanna get used to your taste.”</em> He answers then sucks again. <em>“Come on, taste it.”</em> Armie offers his thumb to Timmy. He earns an eye roll from that.</p><p><em>“I can't believe you.”</em> But Timmy actually allows Armie to feed him his thumb. Upon sucking it, he can only taste a little hint of his own come and more of Armie's saliva.</p><p><em>“So, what do you want for breakfast tomorrow? Do you want me to prepare you breakfast in bed or do you prefer just going to the diner? I might mess up breakfast in bed, just FYI.”</em> Armie asks, stroking Tim's neck and still giving peppering it with small kisses. Timmy elicits small moans from time to time because of that.</p><p>
  <em>“I'd rather us fuck again, Armie. That's what I want.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We can do that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, let's do that.”</em>
</p><p><em>“But breakfast after? What time is your first class tomorrow, by the way? Or should we make it brunch instead?”</em> Armie offers options giddily.</p><p><em>“You want to know what I want? Rough fucking. You've been so gentle with me earlier. Although it was great, I want you to want me so bad that you'd fuck my brains out. I want the fuck where I won't feel my legs for days. I want to make sure every time I move, I will be reminded that you've been inside me, over and over again. That's what I want. Not breakfast or lunch. Or whatever.”</em> He smiles seductively at Armie after saying that. Armie just stares back at him, not uttering a single word for a while.</p><p>
  <em>“I wanna take you out, Tim.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We can fuck after breakfast outside. I'm up for that. If you are so adamant with that breakfast thing you have on your mind.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Is this all it is? Just sex? Because fuck, I love this but I would really love it if we can go out to get to know each other more outside the bed. Maybe, be good friends then boyfriends afterwards. I like you as a person, Tim. I'd like to know more about this body cuddling me right now.”</em> Armie still sounds so sweet but inside his hopes are dying minute by minute. He has no idea about this Timmy and this standpoint of his.</p><p>He is contemplating so he's shocked when Timmy immediately sits up to sit on him. <em>“What are you doing?”</em> Armie asks, confuse.</p><p><span class="u">“Nothing,”</span> Timmy says while making sure their cocks rub each other. Timmy's doing his best rocking motion, making sure he rubs on the most right of places. <em>“Like it?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“We're talking!”</em>
</p><p><em>“Yeah, but it's boring to talk. We can talk while we do this. Amazing, right?”</em> Timmy rolls his hips this time then dives in to kiss Armie on the mouth. Hard and full of want. Still rolling his hips, rubbing.<em> “See, I'm hard again. You are hard again.”</em> Timmy says it with emphasis on the word ‘hard’</p><p>
  <em>“We should talk, you know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How about I promise you to talk later? I wanna ride you.”</em>
</p><p><em>“We just finished.”</em> Armie kind of complains but his voice is betraying him. He moans afterwards.</p><p><em>“What are you, 75? You have the stamina, shut up.”</em> And with that, Timmy doesn't even give Armie a chance to react, he holds Armie's cock, gives it some quick tugs then positioned it perfectly on his hole.</p><p>
  <em>“Fuck, Tim”</em>
</p><p><em>“Fuck.”</em> Timmy says, more to himself. He lowers himself, making sure to have all of Armie's length inside him again. He rocks his hips slowly at first. Adjusting on the position.</p><p><em>“Oh, god. Oh, god. Tim! Fuck, pull out. Pull out!”</em> Armie panics.</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Condom, Timmy! Fuck.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I'm clean. Don't worry, drama queen.”</em> Timmy continues rocking his hips.</p><p><em>“No. No. No.”</em> Armie holds Timmy's waist to stop his motion.<em> “You don't get to that, Timmy. Yes, you're clean, but how about if I'm not? You're risking yourself!”</em></p><p><em>“Aren't you clean?”</em> Tim challenges.</p><p>
  <em>“I'm clean. But that's not the point. Protection is my point here. Protection!"</em>
</p><p>Timmy holds Armie's hands on his waist and untangles them.<em> “Lecture me later about safe sex. Right now, you're inside me, and I want to feel you more. Can I?”</em></p><p>Maybe Armie is a hypocrite who doesn't uphold his opinions. He will reassess himself later, for now, he will get to enjoy Timmy being one hell of an extra. He is so good at riding him. So fucking good. He is so fucked. They both are.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It's so nice to be within Armie's warmth. Timmy feels so safe and loved. He wants to stay cuddled on Armie's arms. But he knows staying here will just cause him further trouble. He is tired, damn tired, and he shouldn't even dare close his eyes because he will surely fall deeply asleep. He needs to leave now or his barriers will fall down. He cannot afford that.</p><p>Timmy watches the calm breathing of Armie. This guy is such a tough man on the outside but is so damn soft and sweet if you get to know and be intimate with him. Armie deserves the same person that is as passionate as him. Timmy smiles sadly, he really needs to go. He carefully untangles himself from Armie's embrace. Making sure not to make any excessive moves so he won't wake Armie up. Once fully out of Armie's embrace, Timmy gives himself another minute or so to stare at the sleeping man. He is so beautiful, he mutters.</p><p>Timmy finally gets up and then picks up his pants and shirt on the floor. When he realizes it is not his shirt, he tries to throw it back on the floor but decides to just use it. He will return it someday. It's hard to leave Armie in the middle of the night but he needs to do it so what's so wrong about bringing a scent of Armie with him? He doesn't know he needs it like it's a lifeline until now. God damn it, life.</p><p>Before finally leaving, he goes back to bed and gives Armie one quick kiss on the forehead. <em>“Bye, Armie.”</em> And off he goes.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Kindly pls comment down your thoughts. I love reading ur feedback &lt;3</p><p>You can also shout on me on Tumblr @asdfghjklwhaaat<br/>Let's talk all things CHARMIE and life there xo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p><em>“Sersh's class is until 1:30, right?”</em> Timmy asks Flo while judging his burger.</p><p><em>“Yeah.”</em> She replies.</p><p>
  <em>“Why isn't she here? I'm getting hungry.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Then go eat. Your food's in front you, Timmy.”</em> She replies after rolling her eyes at him.</p><p><em>“You're so mean.”</em> Timmy pouts.</p><p><em>“And so are you,”</em> Saoirse says, shocking both Timmy and Florence.</p><p><em>“Thank God you're here. Flo is so mean to me.”</em> He baby talks.</p><p>Saoirse ignores Timmy.<em> “What did you get me?”</em> She asks Flo instead.</p><p><em>“Two burgers.”</em> She beams at her.</p><p>
  <em>“Oh thank God. So hungry.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Where did you go?”</em> Timmy interrupts in an annoyed voice.</p><p>
  <em>“Nowhere.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Why are you guys being so judge-y and mean-y to me right now?”</em> Timmy asks.</p><p><em>“Why don't you go ahead and ask yourself the same thing?”</em> Saoirse challenges her best friend.</p><p>
  <em>“Did I do something wrong? For what I can remember, what I did the whole weekend is just eat, sleep, repeat.”</em>
</p><p><em>“You think you're being funny?”</em> Saoirse is all serious now and Timmy's kind of scared of her when she is like this. He doesn't like angry Saoirse.</p><p>
  <em>“What did I do then? Someone enlighten me, please?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Wow, I can't believe I have this naive and jerk of a friend. I really hate you right now, Timmy.”</em> She fishes for her phone on her bag and scrolls through it, clearly looking for something.</p><p><em>“Here. Jerk.”</em> Saoirse hands him her phone. On it is a series of a screenshot from his conversation with Armie on Instagram last weekend.</p><p>
  <em>“If you'll say something, please don't.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But I—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And oh, Armie also told me everything that happened. Every single detail of it. And don't tell me that I shouldn't trust his story and I should listen to your side as well because damnit Timmy. I believe him and I know he won't lie about what happened. He won't go change details just to make himself look good. He is not that kind of guy. He is not the kind of guy who will go ‘whatever’ if this happened to them. He is hurting and angry and so am I.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sersh”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don't Sersh me right now. I told you multiple times that he is a good guy. If you at least care enough about him, just shush. Heck, you've been eyeing the guy for years then this is what you did? What are you, afraid of commitment?”</em>
</p><p><em>“YES! Yes, I am. I'm so afraid of committing to someone but I'm most afraid of committing and giving in my full self to him! I can't lose him.”</em> Timmy surrenders. He is in fault here, he knows.</p><p><em>“You do know you can't lose someone that is not yours in the first place, right?”</em> Flo butts in.</p><p>
  <em>“I know. But I just can't commit to him just like that. It's like he is snapping his fingers at me. He is not even second-guessing his decision. It's so easy for him to say ‘let's go out, I like you’ so it also means it will be easy for him to let go once he is done with me. Why start something that will hurt you in the long run?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That's your excuse? Can you hear how dumb you sound right now? Say goodbye to your Latin honor dreams because you officially lost your mind. Totally.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You don't get it. He is Armie fucking Hammer. He has everything. He has a good family, a good set of friends, a good future, a good dream. And he can get what he wants, he can easily throw what isn't worth his time. He is perfect, you know that, you know him since childhood. So, you can attest here Sersh that he also deserves nothing but perfect as well.”</em>
</p><p><em>“And you are being here all dumb thinking you aren't worth his time? That you are not worthy of being with Armie? Timmy, look at me. Please?”</em> Saoirse finally lets go of his angry facade and hugs Timmy.<em> “Pony, ”</em></p><p>
  <em>“I totally fucked up, didn't I?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Shhh, you're fine. You'll be fine.”</em> Saoirse hits him tightly, trying to give all the love she can give her best friend.</p><p>
  <em>“Is he really mad? Can I talk to him?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He's upset, yes. But I don't think it's the right time to talk to him right now. Let him cool down.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Sersh, I really don't mean everything I said. Fuck, it's all the opposite of what I said! I'm so fucking coward. Did I lose him? What should I do?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Timmy, hey. Saoirse's right, give Armie some time to figure his anger and feelings first. Your love's a good guy, we all know that. You can talk things out easily if both of you are calm. Let him assess the situation himself. You're fine.”</em> Flo offers her support as well.</p><p>If Timmy doesn't have loyal and honest friends, the probability of totally losing his shit is up the sky. He is a smart and reasonable person but sometimes some things have to be spelt out for him slowly. As always, his friends are right, talking to Armie right now after what happened and what he said is another jerk move.</p><p><em>“Here's what we will do now, we will eat and we will go to our classes and we'll be normal, okay? Can we do that?”</em> Saoirse asks.</p><p>
  <em>“Yes. And I won't be a dumbass.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good. I love you, you know that, right?”</em>
</p><p><em>“I know. That's why you are so mean to me. Can I cry now?”</em> Timmy starts to laugh.</p><p><em>“You're my pony so I'll always make sure you will realize you are making a bad decision if I see one.”</em> Unaware of it, Timmy nods at her. <em>“Good pony.”</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Timmy is on his way to his last class of the day and as usual, he is running late. He makes sure he has his phone with him and checks the time on it. He decided to go back to his apartment after his class earlier because he has four hours to kill before his last class. Now, it is such a wrong idea because he's running late again. But at least he is sleep-sated, he is even bouncing on his steps.</p><p><em>“Someone's early.”</em> Nick greets, leaning on the door. He has a lot of classes with Nick this semester in his minor courses.</p><p>
  <em>“What are you talking about? It's almost time.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh. So we're the same?”</em>
</p><p><em>“What are you talking about?”</em> Timmy asks again.</p><p><em>“Timmy, we're both early. I'm guessing you didn't check your email as well. Taylor emailed us he will be late for half an hour or so but we need to wait for him blah blah. I didn't know at first but Lia texted me about it.”</em> Nick finally explains.</p><p><em>“I was sleeping!”</em> Is all Timmy replies.</p><p>
  <em>“Poor you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“By the way, I gotta run. I just waited for you here to tell you. I saw you going here so I guessed you didn't know so. See you later.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Where're you heading at?”</em> Timmy asks before Nick leave.</p><p>
  <em>“I'm meeting with Nate.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Nate?”</em> Timmy asks curiously. He kind of knows who this Nate guy Nick is talking about but he just wants to make sure.</p><p><em>“Nate, the poli sci guy? Captain of the rowing team?”</em> Nick explains describing him.</p><p><em>“Armie's ex?”</em> He asks, wanting some confirmation. He's right.</p><p><em>“Uh yeah.”</em> Nick shyly answers all of a sudden.</p><p><em>“Didn't he graduate a year ago? Isn't he on law school or something?”</em> He asks again.</p><p><em>“Uh well, uh yes. I think he is transferring here again this year. I really don't know how it goes but what I know is he is on talk with the dean about it. Armie explained it to me but I'm not really paying much attention to it. Armie's the one helping him. It's their plan or something. I really don't know and I don't know why I'm telling all of this to you, uh, but yeah, that's it.”</em> Nick shrugs, clearly embarrassed about saying too much.</p><p><em>“You're cool. Thanks for telling me. See you later in class, Nick.”</em> And Timmy walks away, not waiting for Nick's response.</p><p>Nate and Armie were such a power couple before. They were like match-made for each other. They just compliment each other in so many ways Timmy can't think is possible, that's how perfect the two were. It's like the whole campus mourned for the two when they broke up before Nate graduated. They're going different ways, both explained then. Now is a different story especially Nate is planning to continue law school here again. Maybe life really wants to make these two in the same way. Timmy sighs loudly that he anticipated. Where're Saoirse's words, ‘you're fine’ when he needs it?</p><p>He makes sure he did what his friends advised him to do. He gives Armie the time and space to think. It's been two weeks since. He misses him. He misses watching him from afar. It's hard but he makes sure to give Armie the time. But what now? Time's unfair, the consequences are unfair, this is unfair.</p><p>He fishes for his phone on his back pocket and starts to type.</p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>hey, do you have a class rn?</em></p><p>Timmy waits for a couple of minutes for a response.</p><p><span class="u">ARMIE</span>: <em>I'm sorry but who's this?</em></p><p>Timmy reads Armie's reply thrice but it is still not changing. So Armie deleted his number, that's kind of sad.</p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>it's timmy. can we talk?</em></p><p>There's a quick response. He opens the message immediately.</p><p><span class="u">ARMIE</span>: <em>now you wanna talk. u're fucking unbelievable. u wanna get laid or something?</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>no! I just want to talk.</em></p><p><span class="u">ARMIE</span>: <em>lose this number</em><br/>
<em>: And btw, just wanna say that i'm more than a fuck, Timmy. I know my worth but idk why I let you did that to me</em></p><p><span class="u">TIMMY</span>: <em>I'm sorry.</em></p><p><span class="u">ARMIE</span>: <em>Save urself the time and give ur sorry to someone else, I'm done with your petty excuses</em><br/>
<em>: Just please lose this number</em></p><p>And just like that, he can't send a reply anymore. He's blocked. Fuck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! Kindly pls comment down your thoughts. I love reading ur feedback &lt;3</p><p>You can also shout on me on Tumblr @asdfghjklwhaaat<br/>Let's talk all things CHARMIE and life there xo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There's someone knocking on the door and whoever this person is, he has no fucking chill. What does he want, just knock and people will just instantly open the door for him/her/they whatever.</p><p><em>“Wait up!”</em> Timmy rolls his eyes after a series of knock again. This person doesn't know the concept of patience.</p><p><em>“Can you chi—”</em> Timmy says once he opens the door. Well, he doesn't expect this at all. Armie in his front door. Looking bored as fuck but also looks so perfect and hot as usual.</p><p><em>“What took you so long”</em> Then Armie just casually walks inside his apartment. He is carrying what Timmy can guess as a take-away.</p><p><em>“What are you doing?”</em> He asks when Armie starts to look for some bowls and plates on his small kitchen. Armie doesn't answer and just look at him intently. That's when it dawned on Timmy what he is wearing. He is barefoot because he is fresh from the shower but he is wearing Armie's shirt from ‘that night’ and only boxers underneath it. Although Armie's shirt is too big for him, it can only cover much. His long legs showing, he feels so conscious on his own space with Armie all of a sudden.</p><p><em>“Saoirse asked me this huge favor to give this to you. She got exams the whole day. She told me you're sick so, eat.”</em> Armie coldly explains. His jaw clenches afterwards. He is still looking at Timmy, but more into Timmy's body.</p><p>
  <em>“Thanks, uh, you can— just put that in the fridge and I'll eat it later.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I argue my way out this favor but no one can say no to Saoirse so I'm here and I'm here to stay until you finished this up until the last bite. I need to do this for Saoirse.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I'm not hungry yet.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I finished all my exams yesterday. I have all the time in the world now. I'll wait.”</em> Then Armie sits on the single chair on Timmy's kitchen counter.</p><p><em>“I'm going to my room.”</em> Timmy excuses.</p><p><em>“Sure. Oh, while you're at it, do you mind bringing me back my shirt? I kind of need it.”</em> Armie casually says.</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p><em>“My shirt. The one you stole the night we had sex.”</em> Armie must be kidding him right now. He is talking as if Timmy is not wearing the shirt in front of him. Clearly, he is making fun at him right now. So, is this his form of punishment or something?</p><p><em>“I threw it away.”</em> Timmy tries his luck, he really does muster this bravery in a matter of seconds.</p><p><em>“Funny how you're wearing it right now. And the other day when I saw you came out of your class, and also the day before that. You've been using my shirt a lot these days, why's that?”</em> Armie reclines on his sit, watching Timmy squirm. This is such an awkward conversation. Well, for Timmy.</p><p><em>“I haven't been doing laundry.”</em> He dryly replies.</p><p>
  <em>“Bullshit.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I didn't realize I like wearing huge shirts so.”</em> Timmy changes his explanation.</p><p><em>“You're so full of shit.”</em> For the first time since Armie entered the house, he cracks a small smile. Well, it's more of a smirk than a smile.</p><p><em>“I'm not giving this back.”</em> Timmy finally said while clutching the left sleeve as if protecting the shirt from its owner. <em>“I stole it, right? Who stole something then return it? This is mine now. I own this and I'm wearing it whether you like it or not.”</em> Wow, he is brave.</p><p>Armie opens his mouth to speak then close it as if he forgot what he is about to say. Before Armie finally speak, his phone starts to ring. He picks it up when he reads who's calling, <em>“Hey, ”</em></p><p>Timmy doesn't have the means to know what the person on the other line is saying but Armie is smiling from time to time as they speak.</p><p>
  <em>“Uh-huh?... So it was successful then?... That's so cool... Dinner?... Yeah... Of course... Fuck you... *laughs* I know, I know... Yeah, I'll miss you, you know that... See you later... Yeah, later... Bye.”</em>
</p><p>It's Nate. That's so clear. It's painful to see Armie flirt with his ex. Or is Nate still his ex? Maybe they're back with each other again.</p><p><em>“Boyfriend duties?”</em> Timmy asks.</p><p>Armie smiles this time but doesn't answer him. Well, he doesn't need an answer. That's enough of an answer for him.</p><p><em>“I don't do boyfriends.”</em> Armie finally speaks after what seems like hours. <em>“I think it's a cool idea I got from someone before. He doesn't do boyfriends, too. He's cool and since I wanna be cool, I'm doing the same.”</em> He's right. This is gonna be Armie's way of punishing him.</p><p>
  <em>“Well, maybe that certain someone changed his mind now. Maybe if you talk to him he'll tell you otherwise.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, that certain someone is hard-headed. And we don't talk now. Kind of cut ties with him.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Really? Then what are you doing here then if you cut ties with him? I'm that certain person, right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You're cute.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Armie.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, Timmy. Not right now, okay?”</em>
</p><p>Timmy rolls his eyes. <em>“Are you back with Nate?”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Who told you Nate's in the city?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nick.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course.”</em>
</p><p><em>“So, is the power couple back together?”</em> Timmy presses for the information again.</p><p>
  <em>“Why do you wanna know?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I just want to.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. He's just visiting. He's leaving later tonight.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why not? He's back. You guys are perfect for each other, you complement each other, you make each other happy. Why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We had our time and that was it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Just like that? You're not gonna give it another try?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, Timmy, we're not.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why not?”</em>
</p><p>Armie exhales. He needs patience. This kid is testing him.</p><p>
  <em>“I'm not here to talk about my personal life, okay? I'm here to check up on how you're doing. So, help me out here? Let's eat, please?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine. But I'm eating in my room.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I haven't had my breakfast and lunch yet so I bring food for two. And now, you're telling me you'll leave me here to eat alone? That's kind of a dick move.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine. But I'm sick so you have to feed me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What are you, a baby?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I'm a baby when I'm sick. And Sersh feeds me when I am sick. Since you represent her right now, feed me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A bossy baby. Let's eat on the couch.”</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>“You do realize you're using the same fork you're feeding me, right? Do you want to get sick, too?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My immune system is good. Thanks for the concern, appreciate it. Now, finish this up so you'll feel better.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I feel much better now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know you do, but you still need to finish this, babe. Come on.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy can't argue with that. Not by how Armie sweetly says, ‘babe.’</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next day, Timmy is feeling so much better. After they had their early dinner yesterday, Armie left telling him he needed to get some more rest. He didn't stop him making sure he still knows his boundaries.</p><p>
  <em>“Someone's in high spirit. Did you and Armie finally talked?”</em>
</p><p><em>“No. Not yet”</em> Timmy smiles.</p><p><em>“Then when?”</em> Saoirse asks again.</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe next year, maybe later. Who knows? I'm just happy we're kinda cool now. We're happy, we're good.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We'll talk more about this after my class, 'kay? Lunch with Flo, later?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Uh, I kinda have a plan for lunch later”</em>
</p><p><em>“You have a plan”</em> Saoirse repeats.</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You have a plan that doesn't include me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, yes but—”</em>
</p><p>Saoirse laughs,<em> “You're meeting with Armie, am I right? You guys are gonna have lunch!”</em></p><p><em>“No! Well, kind of. I'm bringing lunch over but that's it.”</em> Timmy shyly replies.</p><p>
  <em>“I really, really want to know more about this lunch date but I'm running late for class. Talk later, good luck, Pony!”</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Timmy curses himself in his head. He should've at least texted Armie first before barging here at his place. Again. And what if Armie is not here? Or worse, what if Armie has company? Or is with Nate? Goddamn.</p><p>He closes his eyes and counts to ten for some courage. Then he knocks.</p><p><em>“Just a minute!”</em> It's Armie. Thank heavens, he's home.</p><p><em>“Hey”</em> Timmy greets as Armie opens the door.</p><p><em>“Timmy, hi!”</em> Shock is written all over Armie's face. <em>“Can I help you with that?”</em> Armie motions at the brown paper bag he's carrying.</p><p>
  <em>“Sure. That's our lunch.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Our lunch?”</em> Armie asks, confuse.</p><p>
  <em>“Yep.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I'm sorry but I'm confused here, did we plan for this lunch yesterday or something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, but I'm bringing lunch because I want to have lunch with you. I want to have breakfast too. Or brunch. Even dinners. I want to eat with you privately or outside. I want to go on dates with you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Timmy, what?”</em>
</p><p><em>“I know I'm confusing the hell out of you right now, saying all these mushy things. What I told you that night, or what I didn't want to do that night I mean, that's total bullshit. I want to do things with you, Armie. I'm just so afraid to say yes to you because I feel like you'll get bored or tired of me after some time. I like you for a long time. And you deserve perfect. I'm far from being perfect, Armie so I'm scared. So scared to commit.”</em> This is his only shot at this. It's either he breaks or he finishes this as planned. <em>“I've been a total asshole to you despite you being such a gentleman for me. You really care for me, Armie. And that scares the hell out of me because I finally felt how it is to be taken care of by the Armie Hammer. I asked heavens that if it will give me one night with you, I'll cherish it for life then I'll let you go for good. But I can't do that now. I really want you. I want to spend and enjoy time with you. I love you.”</em> That's it. He said it. He loves him.</p><p><em>“Wow. That's quite a speech.”</em> That's Armie's comment.</p><p>
  <em>“That's all you have to say?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Do you want to come in first?”</em> Armie offers Timmy to come inside his apartment. <em>“I'm just going to take this out.”</em> As he motions to the paper bag he is carrying. <em>“Make yourself at home.”</em></p><p>Timmy is frustrated. Armie is taking his sweet time preparing the food. Walking and moving slowly. <em>“Armie, you are killing me here!”</em></p><p>
  <em>“I'm done. No need for that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Armie, should I go or—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I love you, too.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Why?”</em> Timmy mumbles. Shit. What kind of response is that?</p><p>
  <em>“Why? Because I do. Since Saoirse introduce me to you years ago, I've been so interested with you. With everything you do, you like, you love. But you are Saoirse's friend, and I know my past self. He will just ruin you and it will ruin my friendship with Saoirse as well so I didn't act on it before. So I tried having relationships with other people that are the total opposite of you, like Nate. I loved and respect that guy, I always will. But there will always be a part in me that's always gonna wish to be with you. You know how happy I am when I learned you have a crush on me? Like I'm fucking high. Maybe I'm just feeding my ego but it's so amazing when you are being cute and shy and will flirt with me. It always highlights my days. So if you will ask me again why I love you, then I don't know how I will answer or explain it, I just love you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wow.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Right? That's the feeling I had earlier when you did all that speech in front of my door. I hope my neighbors heard that. It's fantastic.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy gets up from the couch and walks to Armie. <em>“I love you. All these years, I love you. I'm so sorry for being a coward and an asshole. I'll make sure I'll make it up to you every day for the rest of our lives.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, you will?”</em>
</p><p><em>“Yes, as long as you'll let me. Can I kiss you now? Please. I really miss you.”</em> Timmy's eyes are pleading.</p><p><em>“Let me.</em>” Without waiting, Armie holds Timmy's waist to steady him and then plants a quick kiss on Timmy's lips.</p><p><em>“What was that?”</em> Timmy complains.</p><p>
  <em>“A kiss.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, I know. But that is not a proper kiss.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Take me out on dates first. And maybe I'll give you a proper kiss soon.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You are so mean.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Take it or leave it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine, let's have our first date then. On your kitchen.”</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>“How about a cuddle? Can I get a cuddle?”</em> Timmy asks while watching Armie settles himself comfortably on his couch.</p><p>
  <em>“Let me think about it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Babe, come on! Can your heart take it? Us watching a film while we're ten feet apart of each other! That's a crime!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Aww, my poor baby. Come here now then. But I want to be little spoon at bed later.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy sits upright. <em>“You won't even give me a kiss but you are giving me high hopes that we'll go to bed together. That's really mean.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Babe, I won't allow you to go home at this time. And we're not gonna do anything, we just started dating. We'll just sleep, promise.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You are such an asshole.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You love me so whatever. Come here.”</em>
</p><p>Timmy settles his body on Armie's weight. This is his home. He is safe here. He is loved here. He will stay here forever.</p><p><em>“Hey,”</em> Armie whispers on his neck.</p><p><em>“Hmmm?”</em> He hums, eyes still on the TV screen.</p><p>
  <em>“I love you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hmmm.”</em>
</p><p><em>“I love you.”</em> Armie kisses his neck tenderly.</p><p>
  <em>“I love you, too.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Promise me one thing, please?”</em> Armie is still peppering his neck with small, tender kisses.</p><p>
  <em>“Anything. What is it?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Please promise to love me forever?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Armie, babe, you don't have to ask. I intend to do and make you feel that forever. I will never be an idiot again. I love you and that's forever.”</em>
</p><p>Armie kisses him on the forehead which earns an eye roll from Timmy. <em>“Mean.” </em>Timmy's heart is happy and he knows for sure Armie's, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Comment down your thoughts, please. I really love reading them &lt;3</p><p>You can always shout on me on Tumblr @asdfghjklwhaaat<br/>Let's talk all things charmie and life there!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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